A Piece Of Cake: A Memoir

Cupcake’s immediate family was made up of her mother, Daddy, and her brother Larry. Although Daddy was not Cupcake’s biological father, Cupcake remembers both of her mother and Daddy working hard when she was young, and how even after they split up, they remained close friends and lived nearby. They provided for Cupcake and Larry and kept a stable home for them. Cupcake’s mother always told her she was beautiful, and Cupcake remembers her as a comforting presence.

Cupcake found her mother lying dead in her bed after having an epileptic seizure. This was the foremost traumatic experience of Cupcake’s life that set off a long chain of events which saw her Developing, Experiencing, and Overcoming Addiction. Cupcake sang to her mother and held her until she found the strength to make a phone call.

Cupcake and her brother Larry never got along, and their fighting often went as far as attempting to kill one another. Still, Cupcake empathized with Larry’s situation because it mirrored her own. Both of them ended up in a pattern of foster homes and running away.

Cupcake’s Daddy is not her biological father, but this never mattered to her, nor did she even realize it growing up. Daddy was always her father, as he was the one who took care of her and loved her. When Cupcake came back to San Diego after being gone for several years, she was a changed person and her relationship with Daddy changed. Although he tried to help her by giving her furniture, moving her in to support her financially, and more, Cupcake prioritized substance use and damaged her relationship with Daddy. Part of recovery was reconciling this relationship.

Uncle Jr. is Cupcake’s uncle and the only member of her biological family that was consistently there for her after her mother died. He was powerless against custody laws, which placed Cupcake and Larry with Mr. Burns, Cupcake’s biological father, rather than a loving relative. Uncle Jr. was protective and acted like a second father figure to Cupcake. Cupcake turned to Uncle Jr. when she needed help escaping her situation, and Uncle Jr. did whatever he could to support her. Cupcake notes how, to this day, Uncle Jr. refuses to change his phone number, always ensuring that Cupcake can reach him if she needs to.

Venita is Cupcake’s sponsor in the 12-step program and her best friend. Cupcake met Venita in a meeting and immediately felt inspired by her. Venita seemed like everything Cupcake wanted to be. She was poised, beautiful, and confident, as well as five years sober. Cupcake knew that with Venita on her side, she would succeed, so she bravely asked Venita to sponsor her. Venita agreed, warning Cupcake that she would need to be fully committed.

Over the next several months, Venita helped Cupcake by listening to her, being there for her, and providing advice. She encouraged Cupcake to build a relationship with a higher power, to call women from her meetings every day, and to attend meetings daily. She helped Cupcake learn how to ask for help, and she forgave Cupcake when Cupcake relapsed. Cupcake knows that meeting Venita was no coincidence: “It was then that I realized why God had chosen V to be the one to mold me and teach me. She had the challenging task of changing someone who society would argue was unchangeable” (411).

Diane was a foster parent who lived with her daughter, Connie, and who took in dozens of foster children over the years. Diane was severely abusive, controlling, and neglectful, and the experiences Cupcake had in Diane’s care traumatized and changed Cupcake forever. Diane joked that two twins “mysteriously” died in her care, and several times Diane attempted to kill Cupcake by having her eat raw chicken, having Connie violently attack her, and more. Diane also allowed Pete to rape Cupcake multiple times. She was never shy about telling Cupcake what she thought of her, and when Cupcake became pregnant, Diane told her she was bringing “shame on the Black race” (85).

Connie was like a mirror of her mother Diane, with the same violent tendencies. Connie tried to call Cupcake in adulthood, wondering why none of the foster children wanted to talk to her anymore; she laughed when Cupcake reminded her of the attack that killed her baby.

Fly and the Eight-Street Crips were a group of teenagers who formed a Crips gang set in South Central, California. Cupcake was introduced to the Crips when she was sent to live with her great aunt, who took care of Fly and a few other distant cousins in Cupcake’s family. Like Cupcake, Fly lost his mother when he was very young, and the experience hardened him. It also left him without the support of his immediate family and led to Fly seeking out community and support through a gang.

Cupcake was instantly taken in by how suave and slick Fly was; she found the way he talked and acted, as well as his general attitude admirable. Fly and the rest of the gang introduced Cupcake to the world of semi-organized crime, teaching her how to steal and use a gun. Cupcake initially had no knowledge of gangs nor a desire to be in one, but she was desperate for a feeling of family that she had long lacked. Cupcake was beaten up by a group of girls in the gang and fought back, proving her worth. She was then taught all the gang signs, rituals, and lingo. Cupcake eventually left the gang, but she remains close with Fly to this day (who also eventually left the gang).

Tommy was Cupcake’s husband for five years. He had both a positive and negative influence on Cupcake, as he both introduced her to crack cocaine (and used with her) but also encouraged her to find work, go back to school, and adjust her speech patterns. At the same time, Tommy was brutal and jealous, often attacking Cupcake physically and emotionally when he felt insecure. Cupcake got along with Tommy because she didn’t need to pretend with him. Over time, however, their relationship became volatile and codependent. While Tommy often sounded as though he knew what he was talking about, he seldom put his own advice into action. Cupcake left Tommy when she realized that she was being both abused and held down by his substance use and attitude.

Ken was a lawyer and Cupcake’s boss before and during her recovery from substance and alcohol Addiction. Ken was a generous and kind man who saw potential in Cupcake when she did not see it in herself. He was always forgiving and accommodating, and he always gave Cupcake the benefit of the doubt. Ken allowed Cupcake to dress as she pleased and helped her develop her skills in the legal field.

Ken was also instrumental in helping Cupcake when she was finally ready to ask for it. Cupcake went to Ken after living in a dumpster for days, and Ken did not judge her. Instead, he readily called rehabilitation clinics to find one with an opening for Cupcake. Although Cupcake eventually left Ken’s firm to take a summer position in law school, she kept in touch with Ken and continues to be grateful for his part in her recovery.